Cute and Deadly (redone)
by live4fiction
Summary: The BLU team has been lackluster in their fight against RED as of late, leading the Administrator to bring in a new teammate; the Artist, a female assassin. Will the others accept their new teammate? Will her presence cause more trouble than she's worth? And what secrets is she hiding from them? That's for the Administrator to know, and you to find out ;)
1. Chapter 1: Meet the Artist

It was a warm day in Teufort; desert winds blowing from the East and the sun beating down on the rocky and desolate land. In the almost endless nothing sat a fortress housing nine deadly mercenaries. And these deadly mercs...were doing basically nothing. As it was a ceasefire, the boys in BLU were all doing their own activities to save themselves from boredom. In the living room, Heavy sat quietly and ate his sandwich while Pyro played with balloonicorn. On the other hand, Scout, Sniper, Soldier, Demo, and Medic played Poker. Two mercs were missing from the bunch, those being Engie and Spy, who were in their respective the poker game was coming to an end, the last bets were being placed.

"I'm out. I don' wanna lose me last bottle a' scrumpy to this god forsaken hand," Demo grumbled, throwing his cards down.

Well _der Bekanntenkreis_ , I vill bet $20 und a bottle of mien beer," Medic says confidently as he pushes his bet into the middle.

"Call maggot!" Soldier says as he dumps $20 dollars and a beer into the growing pile. Scout grins and says nothing as he throws his bet into the pile as well. Sniper does the same, minus the grinning, but there was an air of superiority coming from his person. When it came time to flip cards, Medic had a full house while Soldier threw down a pair of Kings.

"Ha! Read 'em and weep fellas," Scout shouted victoriously as he showed off his straight flush. Soldier and Medic groaned at the young man but Sniper just smirked, showing Scout his hand; a royal flush. Growling, Scout stood up and stomped like an angry child. "You cheated! There's no way you got a freakin' royal flush!"

Shrugging, Sniper took the pot, consisting of liquor and cash. Scout sat back down grumbling, his mood soiled. Demo laughed at the young Bostonian, happy he decided to fold early. As they set up for another round, Spy walked out of his smoking room.

"G'day to ya mate. Finally done sulkin'?" Sniper asked Spy as the Frenchman blew his cigarette smoke into the air.

" _Salut mon frére_. And I was not 'sulking', I was simply thinking."

The rest of the crew knew by now that Spy wasn't going to give them any details, so they let him be after his brief explanation, even if they were curious. The Spy stood in the corner, watching his team to make sure they didn't destroy any property. A few minutes had passed when Engie passed him by as he came out from his workshop.

"Well ya'll, I finished repairs on the teleporter. We should be able to teleport with all our limbs now," Engie says, Heavy and Sniper shivering slightly at the bad memory of teleporting only to have no legs. Suddenly, the alarm goes off; a bright red light glowing hot and flashing on and off in a sequenced pattern.

"ALERT! ALERT! A MESSAGE FROM THE ADMINISTRATOR!"

The men freeze up,worried by the announcement. "Ah piss. What did you wankers do this time?" Sniper grimaces, trying to find a guilty colleague on who he could place the blame.

"Wha- You think we did it! Nu-uh, no way!" Scout yells, not wanting to be the scapegoat for the administrator, as he has before. To be fair, most of the time it was his fault but still!

"Gentlemen, calm yourselves! We do not even know if it is a negative announcement," Spy reasons, keeping a level head as he usually does.

Medic nods, " _Herr_ Spy is right. Let us listen to the message before we jump to conclusions." Despite his own words, Medic was already planning a gruesome surgery for _der dummkopf_ who angered their management.

The other men try to not worry, but they all know what the administrator is capable of. Speaking of the administrator, the speaker blares to life, her voice pouring out of the equipment. "Attention men! We have noticed a stagnation on the battlefield. As such, we have found you a new teammate!"

The announcement, neither positive nor negative, still shook the group. Even Spy was a bit surprised at the words of their boss. A new teammate? They have been working together for years and the administrator just decides now to give them a new teammate?

"Gather in the meeting room in exactly one minute! "Meet Me video" will be arriving shortly."

Not ones to wait for punishment, the nine men move from their positions to get quickly into the meeting room. It was a small room with no decorations or any extra items. The only things inside were a small table, nine chairs, a projector, and a mini teleporter. Wasting no time, although none of them wanted to be here, the mercy each grabbed a chair and sat down.

Exactly a minute after the announcement, the small teleporter roared to life and a tape appeared out of thin air. Engie, making sure to put it in correctly and keep the projector working, sets the machine to play the "Meet Me Video" of their new teammate.

*3 - 2 - 1*

A cartoony intro card starts on the screen, the words reading 'Meet the Artist'. This drew laughter from Demo.

"Wha'? The boss lady thinks we're that bad we need some fancy boy wh' can teach us t' paint?"

This got a few chuckles from the mans teammates but that was silenced when a voice came from the video as well.

"Um, _O-Ohayo_! This is the Artist speaking, short for Martial Artist." The girl onscreen looked rather fidgety and nervous to be an assassin. Her head was pointed downwards, blue eyes nearly completely covered by long black hair. But what surprised the men the most was simply the fact that she was of the opposite gender. A female merc?! Nearly unheard of.

"Abilities? Oh, those. Okay!" The girl clears her throat. Her eyes closed momentarily, but as she looks up again, you could tell she stood straighter and with more confidence; her eyes becoming a cold. "I have mastered Judo, Ninjutsu, and Atemi Ju-Jitsu since I had started training as a young girl. My sidearm is a fukidake; a poison blowdart that I have crafted myself with a deadly neurotoxin. It can shoot to over 10 meters but even a small cut would be enough to kill you in 30 seconds. Melee weapon? I was gifted these upon arrival." The woman lifts her arms up to show black, metal brass knuckles that were held in each hand. "They have told me these are made of titanium stronger than most jets. But I will have to see for myself on the battlefield."

"Damn, sheila sure has an arsenal on 'er," Sniper whistles, curious about the firing capabilities of her blowgun.

"Yeah, yeah, she's so cool. Whateva!" Scout huffs, crossing his arms. "I could bet her with my bat, no problem. Wham!"

"Quiet fellas! I don't think the lady is done speakin'!" Engie points towards the projector again where the group watches as the girl stares straight into the camera.

"Our employers are telling me I must be off. By the time you are watching this, I just might be right behind you." The tone in her voice sent a shiver down their spines, as if she actually were in the room with them.

"Hello teammates," A silky voice says from behind the men. The nine mercenaries quickly turn, some with more dignity than others, as they gape at the woman behind them. Her mouth turns up slightly. "It is very nice to meet you."

Translations:

der Bekanntenkreis = (literal) group of friends / (in contact) my friends

Salut mon frére = hello my friend

Herr = Sir

Der dummkopf = the idiot

Ohayo = Good Morning

 **This is a redo of a story with the same name! I do hope you enjoyed and look forward to the incoming chapters :)**

 **\- Fiction**


	2. Chapter 2: Found in France

_Flashback Start_

 **Artist's POV**

My body nearly melted in it's chair as the warmth of my coffee found a home in my bones. The air around me was rather chilly and it felt rather nice to sit and relax. That last job really took a lot out of me, especially after the 12 hour drive from Austria; I hope that the prime minister appreciates his new seat in power. Most jobs didn't force me into a nice dress but when it came to this assassination, I had to get close to several political figures.

Either way, it was over, and I could finally relax in my favorite cafe in all of France. However, it didn't take me long to realize that I had to go before the person following me made their move. I sighed; why can't I ever just sit without someone trying to kill me? Standing, I gave a quick 'adieu' to the waitress and push open the door.

With a brisk pace, I keep straight, or as straight as I can. My heels making a clacking sound on the stones as I stare ahead of me and keep walking. Even after 10 minutes of walking, the person following me does not seem to want to give up. Thinking fast, I see an empty side street and dip in.

 **Ms. Pauling's POV**

I grimace as the target continues to walk, my feet already killing me from the unstable ground beneath me. How does she do this in heels? It was another agonizing few minutes before I see her duck into a side street off of the main road; she knows I'm here. With no second thought, I walk further and go into the same alleyway. The area was covered in shadows and trash, but I couldn't see her.

Before I could do anything else, the wind was knocked out of me and I was forced up against the wall. An arm was placed firmly up against my throat and my target's blue eyes bore into mine. "Why are you following me? だれが送ったか" Her voice was low but full of anger. I whimper as my breath is slowly cut off.

"I-If you'd let me go, I could tell you," I gasp out, her arm pressing harder into me.

She scoffs, her eyes holding a deep anger as she stares at me. "Do not think so little of me. I know you have a weapon on your person."

I gulp, my hands going up in a position of surrender. "I-If I were to drop my weapon, would you let me go? You know that, in close quarters, I would be no match for you." My voice was strained as I tried to reason with her, the lady in front of me one of great strength. Her eyes scanned my face for any sort of lie before giving a swift nod; she refused to let my throat go.

Slowly, as not to frighten her, I reach behind my back and grab onto the handle of my pistol. I carefully raise it to the side of me, staring at her as I did. With no grace, I toss it to the side, far enough away from me that she wouldn't be suspicious. Checking to make sure I had no other weapons on me, she releases my throat and steps back as I try to regain my breath.

"What is it you want?" Her eyes were no longer angry, staying cautious but now with a small amount of regret.

"Well Ma'am, I'm here to offer you a job; more specifically, a contract. I work for a private company who are hiring mercenaries. If you are interested, I can explain more in the car."

Her face softened as she chewed her lip. "I believe I have heard of this company before." She nods. "I will come with you but I take the gun until I know you are not lying to me." I accept her conditions and the two of us make our way to the white van.

 _Flashback End_

 **Artist's POV**

On the way to the headquarters, Ms. Pauling informed me of what I'd be doing. She told me about the Blutarch and Redmond feud as well as the men I'd be working with. While I was there, I had to record a video for my future teammates. It didn't take too long after that to fill the necessary paperwork; lying about my past had become second nature. Getting the... 'painless' operation for the respawn power was a bit more of an endeavor. I apologized profusely to the resident doctor when I broke his nose; it was a reflex to fight when I saw a needle. But after that, I was able to calm down enough to finish the procedure.

Just a few short minutes afterwards, I was whisked away back into Ms. Pauling's van. I asked her a few questions about the men I'd be working with but the only thing I got were names and job descriptions. I tried to get a bit more but she told me that I would find out more on my own; from the way she was smirking, it was either going to be extremely unpleasant or just downright insanity.

While I stood behind the men as they watched my video, it was very clear that both options were a possibility. A few seemed reasonable enough but there were some that I would prefer to see on the other end of my blowgun. I must admit that seeing them jump when I spoke was amusing.

"I do hope that you will accept me onto your team! I am very glad to work with skilled gentlemen such as yourself." I bow in respect to my teammates, fully knowing that they would not give me the same respect unless I earned it.

"WELL DON'T GET TOO COMFY MAGGOT! A woman cannot be on the battlefield; that's a man's job!" A stocky man in the back said scowling, who I guessed was the Soldier. I pull myself up from the bowed position, eyes glinting at the challenge in his voice.

"Apologies, but I haven't heard of this rule. Perhaps I could change your mind?" I gave him a smile, although it was not returned.

"I highly doubt that! There is nothing you could do that is of value to this team, aside from cooking' and cleanin'," Soldier said, laughing at the idea of a woman on their team.

Placing my hands behind my back, I give him smile. "If you would kindly take me to your training room, I would love to show you what I am capable of." 

Translations

Adieu = goodbye

だれが送ったか = Who sent you?


	3. Chapter 3: Proving Herself

**Artist's POV**

I watch the men as they look at each, unsure of what to do.

"Look doll, I don't care what kind of fancy trainin' you have. No way am I letting a girl onto my team!" The youngest one yells, who I suspected to be the Scout. He walks over to me and grabs onto my shoulder, but before he can push me out, I grab onto his wrist and twist. He lets out a yelp as I continue to twist his wrist off of my body.

"I believe it is in my right to visit the training facility. I am apart of your team after all," I say sweetly, a smile still on my face as I keep his wrist twisted.

"Okay! Yeah sure, whateva'. Just let me go you crazy bitch!" Scout whined. I released his arm and he fell back, his other hand holding onto the injured one.

I turn towards the other men, the glint in my eye never leaving. "Now, which one of you nice men would like to show me the training room?"

No one moved for a good minute, but a sigh was heard from the corner opposite of mine. "I believe that job has fallen on _moi, ma cher_. _"_ A tall man stepped forward, his face covered in a mask, a balaclava to be specific. This must be the Spy. He was wearing a blue suit fitted to his exact measurements, the fabric tight against his already thin frame. He looked exactly as Ms. Pauling described him.

" _Merci, gentilhomme. J'apprécie beaucoup_ ," I say in perfect french. Spy looks surprised, confused as to how I was able to speak his language.

" _Je vois de parler le français_ ," he says, testing me on my knowledge; I was ready.

" _Oui monsieur. Ma mère était français_ ," I respond. That was no lie, my mother was indeed French. Although my father was from Japan, they met at a tournament and fell in love. But that was a story for another time.

" _Tout comme le mien_." Spy gives me a small smile, although it is more likely related to thoughts of his mother.

"Are you gonna show the stupid girl the training room or what!" Scout asks impatiently, arms crossed as he glares at the frenchman. Spy returns the glare but lets out a sigh.

" _En route, avant la stupide américain essaye d'attaquer t'a encore_ ," He says to me, holding out an arm in a polite fashion. I give a little chuckle, taking his arm as he pulls me out of the room and leads me to the training area.

The walk was quiet aside from the light tapping sound of our footsteps and the loud stomping of the men behind us. We got to the end of a hallway where Spy released my arm and pushed open the doors. Inside was small, gym-like room with equipment covering most of the space. In one corner was several lifting machines and a large pile of dumbbells. In the opposite corner was what I was looking for; an arena. It was similar to a boxing ring but it was larger and had no ropes to tie off the edges.

Stepping in front of the group of men, I make my way towards the ring and hop onto it. Turning back to face my teammates, I hold out a hand to point towards my side. "Would anyone like to join me?"

"Scout should go in. I'd like to see him get his ass thrown around by the sheila," said a man with an Aussie accent; definitely the Sniper.

Scout growls at Sniper, his face covered in a light blush. "I could totally beat her up! But my ma told me to neva' hit a girl."

"Besides, if ze _Frau_ is vanting to prove herself, she should go up against a real man! Scout vould be too easy," says a man in a lab coat; the infamous Medic I heard so much about while getting my respawn procedure.

"Beggin' your pardon ma'am, but I'd be willin' t' step into the ring with ya." I turn my head slightly to see a shorter man step up onto the platform. He was a good few inches shorter than me but his stocky build made him appear bigger than he was. I nod, accepting his challenge, but I turn back to look at the others.

"Not that you're no challenge Engineer, but I would appreciate one more opponent in the ring," I say, passing my eyes over the eight other men outside of the ring.

"I'll go then ya cowards. But I'm not apologizing when you're on the floor sheila," Sniper says, stepping onto the platform. His figure was taller than mine, by at least a few inches, but it was not the first time I've had to deal with cocky men.

"I would not expect you too," I reply with a smirk. Stepping into the center of the ring, I bow towards my two opponents who, not knowing what else to do, bow awkwardly back. As my torso moves back upwards, my mind calms; the fight has begun.

 **Sniper's POV**

I get back up from the bow, ready to knock the sass ou' of the sheila when I realize she had the same look in her eyes as when she was talkin' about her weapons; cold, calculated, and relentless. But that didn't deter him.

Hopin' to get the first move advantage, I rush her. I don't know how much trainin' she's 'ad, but first move is all about brute strength... or so I thought. As soon as I tried to rush her, she quickly turned sideways and got me with a kick straight to the sternum. I had a bit o' wind knocked outta me but I wasn't plannin' on giving up after one shot.

As I caught my breath, Engie went and grabbed Artist from behind. His arms were locked around her arms and torso, effectively making her motionless. But the sheila was slippery and she locked her foot around his ankle and it was long before she was able to get them both to the ground. Engie released her when he hit the ground with a loud thump and she rolled backwards into a standing position.

I cracked my neck as I held my fists up and got closer to her; I wasn't getting knocked down for a second time. She turned to face me, leaning onto her back leg and keeping her hands up to guard her face. I waited this time, not making the same mistake of going first. She moved her left foot to the left more and, before I could do anything to defend, had dropped low to the ground and swept my feet out from under me.

She stood once more as Engie and I got our bearings. We looked to each other and nodded, getting on either side of the sheila. She hopped lightly on her feet, eyes switching from me to him and back. We rush her from either side, our right hands pulled back to punch. We don't even get the chance to before she's rolled out of the way and pops back up into her stance. At this point, we're both a little out of breath but she seems to be fine so far.

"As much as I enjoy this, I believe it's time for me to be on the offensive." Wait, she wasn't on the offensive this whole time?

I don't get a second thought as she appears in front of me, faster than I could blink, and grabs my arm. Hitting her elbow into my ribs, she takes a hold of my elbow and pushes her shoulder into it. It wasn't even a second later that I was thrown to the ground and I was staring up at the ceiling. I sat up only to see Engie trying to throw a few punches; a last ditch attempt. She dodges a few before ducking under one and getting into closer quarters. She pulls her arms back and uses both palms to strike his sternum, pushing him back a good few feet. With no time to recover, Engie is met with a spinning jump kick to the stomach. He's kicked off of the platform and lands into a heap on the floor.

Artist turns back to face the others who are, for the most part, currently trying to keep their jaws from hitting the floor. She gives them a quick bow before looking at them with a little smile on her face. "Now, where will I be staying?"

Translations:

Moi, ma cherie = me, my dear

Merci, gentilhomme. J'apprécie beaucoup. = Thank you, kind sir. I am very appreciative.

Je vois de parler le français = I see you speak French.

Oui monsieur. Me mère était français = Yes sir. My mother was French.

Tout comme le mien = As was mine.

En route, avant la stupide américain essaye d'attaquer t'a encore = Let's be off, before the stupid American attempts to attack you again.

frau = girl


End file.
